


Louis, the troublemaker

by baloonflies, c_libretto



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, girlfriends? what girlfriends?, i really love this story, it's sort of five times fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2017-12-08 00:23:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/754806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baloonflies/pseuds/baloonflies, https://archiveofourown.org/users/c_libretto/pseuds/c_libretto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Paul has seen a lot and experienced more than these boys ever will. He had killed a bear with only nearly his bare hands, fought a whole gang of drug dealers by himself and saved dozens of lives. But this boy, 150 pounds of skin and bones, looks like the spitting image of his way towards a downward spiral.</p><p>or the one where Louis makes Paul's life miserable and Liam is always here to save the day</p>
            </blockquote>





	Louis, the troublemaker

**Author's Note:**

> I wan't to say huge thank you to Co-author of this story, Carrie
> 
> she is amazing and you should love her as much as is do, which is a lot
> 
> enjoy

Paul is a wise man, to put it simply. He was a straight-A student in school and had later gone on to study in two very promising universities. He was in the army for years and after that had been in charge of the safety of half of the British elite.

 

He has seen a lot and experienced more than these boys ever will. He had killed a bear with only nearly his bare hands, fought a whole gang of drug dealers by himself and saved dozens of lives. But _this_ boy, 150 pounds of skin and bones, looks like the spitting image of his way towards a downward spiral.

 

He attracts trouble like honey attracts bees. He seeks for it, thrives on it. The man who once saved Robbie William’s life had never thought that Louis Tomlinson would be his toughest job, but he unfortunately now knows better.

 

Louis has an awfully massive talent for machinating frivolity in the most unnecessary places and it’s as if he’s sent to Earth by God Himself just to make Paul’s life a miserable, living hell.

 

Louis has antics, lots of them – Paul is perfectly aware of that – and he also loves animals, or messing with animals to be exact.

 

There were the homeless, skinny underfed dogs a couple of times they were in Italy, a hamster in Germany, and he once even collected a bunch of homeless kittens in Sweden and dropped them on Niall and Harry while they were sleeping, which greatly agitated the two younger boys, evidently because those little ‘innocent’ creatures had not so innocent claws and had created quite a havoc when Niall and Harry had woken up to being scratched all over their pretty skin. Louis, nonetheless, had a great laugh out of seeing them like that.

 

But now, Louis had managed to overcome himself (which Paul didn’t think possible, until now), because there’s a bloody goose, an actual goose running around backstage! In _fucking_ America!

 

They are about to perform in front of one of the biggest audiences they’ve ever had and it’s a hullaballoo as Louis chases the goose with Paul trailing after him.

 

Every time Paul is about to corner the goose and get him, Louis will distract him and send him off toanother direction. As much as he hates admitting it, Paul really does feel like he’s about to cry in frustration. Had he not love Louis so much, he would have slapped that mischievous grin off of his face a long time ago.

 

After a wild chase, he finally has the goose cornered between the band’s equipment and wall. Louis is just right beside it, grinning that wicked grin again.

 

“Louis,” Paul says, hushed yet warningly, “Don’t you dare move, or I’ll beat you with this poor bird’s bum.” His eyes flicker between the goose and Louis. He stretches his arms a bit more, taking one small step and is about to grab scared bird when Louis screams and jumps at the goose, and it runs away with loud squawk, Louis following behind.

 

Damned be the hand Paul signed that bloody contract with.

 

Louis and the goose disappear from his view and Paul is sure he won’t be able to find them before show starts, because this backstage is like a huge labyrinth, and Paul definitely isn’t looking forward to letting the goose run around on the stage. He can already see the headlines in the papers tomorrow:

 

“ _One Direction gets a sixth member!”_

_“One Direction goes on a wild goose chase - literally”_

_“Goose Direction”_

 

He wanders around the halls for ten minutes before catching sight of Louis, he is entering one of the dressing rooms at the end of the corridor and Paul starts running, feeling slightly astounded because when had he started to be able to run that fast? He figures all the chasing he’d had with Louis has been practice to his increasingly weary legs.

 

He is about to shout _‘_ Louis, goddammit!’but he peeks inside the room and sees Liam, sitting on the couch, dressed in his stage outfit with the goose on his lap, caressing the terrified creature’s neck. The bird is breathing heavy on his lap and Paul feels like he can almost identify with the bird’s feelings, considering how much Louis is being such a bother with both him and the bird today.

 

Then he sees Louis nearing the couch and Liam looks up at him, smiling sweetly.

 

Louis moves to sit down next to him and they’re silent for a bit. Liam shifts nearer to him on the couch, knocking their heads together, Paul is standing near the half-open door, silently watching.

 

 

“Hey,” Liam says quietly, so quiet Paul can barely hear him. “I bet you guys drove Paul insane,” he states, and Louis starts laughing. Oh how much now Paul wants to slap him around the face.

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis manages between fits of laughter, “you should have seen it, he’s probably looking for us now.”

 

Liam nods and looks back down at the goose, running hand up and down its back. It had calmed down a little, breathing steadier.

 

“Let’s get him back to the zoo, yeah?” Liam smiles up at Louis, brushing their shoulders together and his face is so sweet that Paul thinks he would kill the men if Liam asked him like this. Louis nods and Paul had never been so relieved in his life before. He makes sure to treat Liam with an extra hour off tomorrow.

 

-

 

It’s in the middle of January and they’re in Paris. 70 centimetres of snow outside and it’s fucking _freezing_. If it’s up to Paul, he wouldn’t even try to peek outside, but Louis obviously has other plans.

 

One minute he’s harassing Niall and Harry and before Paul could blink, Louis is running around the backyard of their rented flat, in snow, naked!

 

Paul is running towards the big glass door, barefoot and dressed in shorts, the coffee he was having now splattered down on his t-shirt at the sight of Louis without a single thread to cover his body in this bitter weather, and all Paul is able to muster in his head is, “What the _hell_ is he thinking of?”

 

Paul is sure soon there’s going to be helicopter flying above them to live stream one of five of the world’s biggest boyband One Direction showing off his family jewels.

 

“Louis, get back in there, now!” Paul shouts from the doorway.

 

Louis doesn’t respond, instead he starts dancing the Macarena and Paul doesn’t even care that his toes are going to turn to ice, he is about to step out to grab Louis and practically manhandle him but this little shit locked the fucking door!

 

“Louis!” he shouts, holding up a threatening finger, “Open the bloody door!”

 

But Louis isn’t having any of that – he just winks at Paul and throws a snowball at the door, blowing a raspberry (How very mature, Paul thinks, rolling his eyes).

 

Paul can hear the sounds of a helicopter approaching in his head, and thinks that this must be the end of his career and the band, but then he looks up at Louis again and sees Liam behind him, grabbing Louis from behind and wrapping the robe he is holding around Louis’ naked frame.

 

Louis tries to wriggle his way out of his hold, but Liam is holding him steadily around the waist and as soon as Louis realizes that it’s Liam, he calms down and starts giggling instead. Paul watches them stand there for a minute, then Liam kisses his neck, temple, ear or maybe even cheek – he can’t really see anything at this angle – and they start move back inside. They enter through the front door of the house with Liam still holding Louis. But anyways, he is grateful and gives Liam his best thankful look

 

 -

 

Louis on stage is equivalent to the devil himself. (Or as Louis would be more likely to insist, “I prefer God of mischief. Loki or Hermes, whichever you prefer.)

 

Paul always makes sure to keep an eye on him the most, especially after that incident in Australia when he decided to go crown surfing and Paul and Andy had got him back with shirtless, half-ripped trousers, only one shoe on and that stupid self-satisfied grin spread wide on his face.

 

But today, Louis has decided to harm not only himself, but his other band mates too – Harry and Niall, to be exact.

 

It’s not a secret that Harry and Niall are together – well it actually is, but to the band and the crew it isn’t, and Louis’s opinion about it isn’t so secret either. When it comes to relationships, Louis has a habit of doing an automatic switch of personality from a normal, hormonal young man to a gay rights’ defender.

 

Not that Paul blames him – he wants his boys to be happy, but nobody is forcing them to hide, it’s their own decision, but Louis doesn’t seem to understand that.

 

With every chance he gets,he pushes Harry and Niall together and ignores the warning looks he gets from Paul and the other boys. He once asked Harry to kiss Niall during one of their banters, and it was horrible, because knowing the two of them, Niall was most likely going to sit and blush furiously and Harry was going to act like a confused monkey and Paul was sure that everyone would notice that there’s something going on, but fortunately, Harry had did the right thing and leaned in to kiss Niall’s cheek like it wasn’t a big deal, and Paul finally let out the breath he’d been holding for quite some time from when the interview had started.

 

It’s really too early for Paul to breathe properly though.

 

One Direction’s mouth-whispering is a famous fact, and it is well-known by the fans that each and every one of the boys tend to whisper a little too closely to another boy whenever they’re on stage, leading to a lot of ‘shipping’ and ‘feels’ going about on the social media by their fans (God knows what these crazy girls even _mean_.)

 

And right now Niall and Harry are doing it, standing closer than necessary on purpose, but Paul doesn’t blame them – they’re kids in love, he knows that feeling too,he wasn’t born a thirty-year-old.

 

It wouldn’t have been a bad thing, but of course Louis has to get himself involved,with that obvious impish expression on his face again. Louis is walking closer to them and Paul suddenly has an idea of what he’s about to do. He’d tried to do it several times tonight already, but all attempts had gone futile. If he succeeds now,Niall and Harry will accidentally kiss on stage and the media will be hell to deal with tomorrow.

 

Louis is now raising a hand to push Harry’s back and Paul’s praying, with all of his might, _no, don’t let it happen, god_. His whole life is flashing right in front of his eyes and he’s about to collapse and admit defeat when Liam grabs Louis’ raised hand and twirls him around, pulling him away to slow dance while Zayn sings his solo.

 

Paul doesn’t think he can afford to not make Liam his favourite any longer.

 

-

 

It’s midsummer and they’re in LA, and Paul lets himself relax, because they’re renting a hotel with a huge pool and Louis loves swimming more than harassing Niall and Harry, which is definitely saying something, because he loves harassing Niall and Harry _a lot_.

 

But as always, Paul’s relaxing is way too early.

 

This time, Louis decides to corrupt his usual partner-in-crime Zayn and Zayn, being the trustworthy companion that he is, agrees to another ‘lets’-ruin-Paul’s-life’ plan, as so daringly planned by Louis himself. And so they sneak out and run away in middle of the night, get themselves lost in bloody Hollywood.

 

Paul doesn’t even have a clue where they could have gone, though he suspects they are getting wasted in some small pub where people can’t recognize them, but he’s on the verge of splitting his head worrying because they’re famous, and being famous means that people can recognize them _everywhere_ they go.

 

Also there are thousands of pubs in Los Angeles. Louis isn’t answering his phone, Zayn left his in his room, Paul is miserable and so are boys. Liam is pacing around, muttering some inaudible words under his breath and Harry has Niall sleeping on his lap, not daring to go to sleep before their missing bandmates come back.

 

Paul can’t do much – he’s only able to send hordes of security around the city to search them down in every pub, club and even to the zoo, just because Louis is unpredictable and has bizarre ideas sometimes. Paul doesn’t stop calling him, though, and he calls Louis so many times he thinks his phone might explode. Harry tries to call too, depending on the fact that they’re best friends; surely Louis won’t hang up on him?

 

He’s wrong.

 

Hours pass and there are still no signs of them and finally Harry gives in and takes Niall to bed and probably falls asleep himself, so now it’s just Paul and Liam left, wide awake despite the night slowly making its change to dawn. Liam’s eyes are heavily-lidded and he looks so tired and Paul thinks he might just murder Louis for real this time because they’re having a big show the next day and they absolutely can’t afford to deal with this sort of shit just the night before performing. He swears he will, but first he needs to get hold of Louis first, which obviously isn’t going to happen any soon.

 

The clock ticks four in the morning and Paul is about to call police, but Liam won’t let him.

 

“Let me,” Liam says, fighting a huge yawn, “I’ll call him, maybe he’ll answer.”

 

It’s either Liam is secretly a wizard capable of some kind of magic or that he just holds a really big power over Louis, because to Paul’s surprise, Louis picks up the phone after just one ring.

 

“Lou?” Liam says softly, sounding exhausted. “Yeah it’s me - come on, come home I want to sleep – I can’t sleep without you – come on Lou… I’m tired. Yeah, I promise… Okay – I’ll be waiting.” He hangs up and gives Paul a reassuring smile. “He’ll take a taxi to the hotel; just send him the address to show the driver.”

 

After that Liam waits on the sofa and Paul watches him from across the room, sitting next to the enormous fireplace.

 

In thirty minutes, Louis and Zayn stumble into the room giggling, stopping at the doorway and Louis’ eyes fall on Liam, half asleep on the couch. He whispers something to Zayn and Zayn nods and leaves to his bedroom. Louis enters the room and Paul is about to break his neck (like how he’d been wanting to do for some time now) but when he opens his mouth to shout at him, Louis turns and shushes him drunkenly, motioning at Liam, snoring lightly on the sofa about two meters away.

 

“Shh, you git,” he whispers, “You’re gonna wake him up.” He slurs after every word and Paul can’t start to imagine how much he’s drank that night.

 

Louis move to couch and sits next to Liam, throwing an arm around his shoulder and stirs him awake gently.

 

“Hey,” he whispers and for some reason he sounds completely sober.

 

“You’re back” Liam yawns, swallowing half of the words.

 

“Uhuh,” Louis nods, nosing into Liam’s cheek, “I’m back, let’s go to bed now.”

Paul watches them stumble out of room together, Louis from being drunk and Liam from being half asleep.

 

The sight of that is so damn sweet that Paul decides he’ll break Louis’s neck later.

 

-

 

Louis is literally determined to go at all lengths to out Harry and Niall.

 

Paul doesn’t even notice how proud he looks as Louis rips open his blazer and shows off his t-shirt inside. He can only see the words, printed all in bold, and feels his blood pressure go a little higher than usual.

 

Louis’ shirt says ‘I ship Narry’ and Paul is just about to chastise Louis for that and tell him to change to another t-shirt Liam scratches Narry with a Sharpie pen and writes ‘Li + Lou’ instead, and Paul feels the need to thank Liam for that, because at least that’s helping to take the attention off of the real couple here –

 

But Louis the destroyer won’t put a stop to that so simply.

 

Paul is very well aware of the fact that their fans are insane and that they have no sense of shame and a constant, endless supply of insane ideas, so he always expects them to do something flaky during the shows, but what he doesn’t expect is a huge dildo thrown onto the stage! He has seen panties, bras, thongs thrown onto the stage but they’ve never actually gone that far, so he’s a little shocked this time.

 

And the way Louis eyes the item, doesn’t reassure Paul at all. _Oh no_.

 

“Oh, _yes_ ,” Louis starts after they finish one of their songs, “I see we have one of Harry and Niall’s favourite things thrown on the stage now, haven’t we?” Paul cringes at the sinful images conjured up in his mind and waves them away desperately.

 

Louis moves towards the centre of the stage and Paul is about to call the managing cabinet and ask them to turn the lights off but Liam comes in to save the day.

 

Again.

 

“Yeah,” Liam joins in, “I think we do.” He moves and reaches for a pack of Haribos lying not too far away from the toy. “But you know what?” he turns to Louis, “they aren’t getting it tonight.” Liam throws an arm around Louis and drags him away from dildo, “Because we’re sharing it for ourselves.” He smiles and Louis starts to giggle.

 

Paul lets his shoulders fall, barely noticing the abnormally loud screams erupting from the crowd, too relieved to take note of the sudden increase of ‘Lilo’ shippers in the crowd. Not that he’d get it, anyway.

 

-

 

Radio interviews had never been that much of a trouble, because people can’t see them, but Louis once managed to turn on the speakers at the exact moment Zayn was talking about his sexual fantasies of Megan Fox and it was honestly just so embarrassing, even Paul burned red at the very thought.

 

They are currently in Ireland and Harry and Niall are at Niall’s place, spending some with his family and Zayn is with Perrie who visiting them for their show tonight, so there’s only Liam and Louis for the radio interview.

 

Louis hasn’t done anything particularly cheeky yet, but Paul knows better. He’s watching them with eagle eyes from behind the glass window as they fool around in the DJ booth.

 

“So, boys,” the interviewer asks; he is a young man with shaved head and shiny teeth, and god, they are _really_ shiny if you ask Paul, “There’s been a lot of bromance-talk happening around in your fandom, are any of them real, Louis, what do you say?”

 

Louis is grinning mischievously and Paul feels his heart skip a beat.

 

“Actually,” he starts, looking at Paul straight in the eyes with a glint in his blue ones. Paul starts waving desperately, his mind racing as he mouths ‘no, no, no’ through the soundproof glass, the panic all-too obvious in his eyes.

 

Louis ignores Paul’s attempts to get his attention.

 

“There is, it’s…” Then Paul is frozen in his place,watching with wide eyes as Liam grabs his face and kisses him on the lips, silencing him for a second or two. Paul is grateful that it’s just four of them in the studio, because corrupting one young DJ won’t be as hard to deal with as the uncontrollable amount of spotlight they’re going to get later on because of this.

 

When Liam pulls back Louis looks as dumbstruck as Paul feels right now. Louis stares at Liam for a moment and then grins, bright and wide, lighting up his face, and he kisses Liam chastely on the lips again and turns back to microphone.

 

“It’s me and Liam, yeah, me and Liam,” he shouts, and he sounds so happy, “we’re going to get married have seven kids and pet koala – all that jazz – yeah, me and Liam.” There’s no denying the joy in his grin as he pulls Liam closer and plants a loud kiss on his cheek for the listeners to hear. The DJ looks a little astounded as well, but he looks genuinely happy for the two of them.

 

“That was on the cheek, I promise,” Liam laughs and returns the kiss.

 

At the end of the day, Paul watches the two young boys silently through the car window, witnessing Louis blush every time Liam touches him as they snuggle in the backseat together.

 

 _This is nice_ , Paul thinks, smiling to himself, he really does love his job.

 


End file.
